Shall I pick up where I left off?  All of my readers have probably moved on but I don't care.  I miss writing sometimes and this week my days and nights are screwed up because I worked night shift.  I started school again so I will perhaps eventually finish those 19 credit hours I have until my bachelors degree.
The children are fine...Halle has made it safely into the terrible twos so I anticipate much drama for the next year or so.  I missed you friends, I will try to catch you up, but not tonite. I have a 12 hour shift in the ER tomorrow and have to sleep.

You thought I had stopped blogging altogether, didn't you?  I haven't.  My husband just changed his google password months ago and since I access my blog through his google account I just haven't been able to get in to blog.  And I have been too lazy to memorize his new password.

Just wanted to tell you what has been going on with me.  I have the most darling baby girl in the universe who turns 1 on February 1st.  Some days I miss seeing her and wish I could stay home with her.  Other days I like my job and like that she is getting interaction with other babies.

You probably know by now that I don't really do new year's resolutions.  Don't really believe in them and I hate the month of January.  Especially since the gym gets crazy for the first 3 weeks until everyone who resolved to lose weight drops the 3 lbs. they gained over the holidays and decides to stop going to the gym.

I just started school again.  I work about 45 hours a week, have two kids, am getting my basement finished and started school again.  'Why can't you just relax?' my husband says.  Why, indeed.

I am so stressed that on Friday evening with the kids in the back of the SUV (yes I have an SUV.  Don't get me started) he stopped at a local hotel and checked me in for two nights.  Now I am paying for sleep.  Which one of my friends suggested a few weeks ago, but I am pretty sure she was kidding.

Not kidding.  It's quiet and warm and I have an entire room and bathroom to myself with no crying children or dogs or cats or TV's to keep me awake.  Just ear plugs and a soft bed.  With no bedbugs (I checked for evidence of bedbugs.  I always check.).

I missed you my blog readers.  This year I am going to try to post at least once a week.

Secrets of a Surgical Nurse--(Unabridged)

Secrets of a Surgical Nurse--(Unabridged)

1.)    Clean out your belly button before you have surgery.

2.)    Shy about your body? Don’t be.  We see it ALL, all day long.  We don’t care.

3.)    Yes, we wonder about your tattoos

4.)    We treat your babies like they are our own.

5.)    Yes, your baby/child cries when they get into surgery.  But that helps the anesthesia work faster and we hold them as they go to sleep.

6.)    Don’t lie to your nurse or anesthesia about drug or alcohol use.  We can usually tell anyway.

7.)    I am not being evasive, I honestly don’t know how long the surgery might take…it always depends on the patient.

8.)    I have a lot to do in a very short period of time, usually with a surgeon standing over my shoulder waiting for me to get it done.

9.)    I care about your physical health during surgery and how surgery will affect your physical, emotional, and family health after surgery.  I always keep these in mind when you are in my care.

10.)   I know it is often a scary experience.  I want you to feel as warm and comfortable as possible.

11.)   I hope I don’t seem like a bitch because I’m in a hurry.  I probably have 5 orthopedic cases on the surgery board ‘To Follow’ and only an hour left of my scheduled shift.

12.)  I am literally a waitress.  I take and make food orders over the phone for people who are scrubbed in.

13.)  I can see, smell, or feel almost anything during surgery and then walk out, wash my hands, walk down the hall and eat lunch.

14.)  I am not sitting in the lounge because I am lazy.  I was probably up most of the night on call--working. 

15.)   I really love my job.

Seems like the only time I post is when there is drama. But I guess that makes something to write about. Sweet Halle Marie is in the hospital with meningitis. I got home from call at 8 ish on Tuesday night. My girl was grunting with every breath and breathing about sixty times a minute. My gut said something was wrong. Took her to ER. ER doc was kind of a douche, looked at her for less than 60 seconds, ordered a chest x ray, looked at me like I was an idiot and told me she "might" have an ear infection. Sent us home with a script for amoxicillin. Big surprise, amoxicillin did no good. I stayed home with her the next day and then sent her to daycare the day after that. She was still having bouts of strange breathing but thought it might be because she was in pain. Daycare called me at 2 on thursday to tell me something was wrong with her...not breathing right, feverish. I left work and called the pediatric clinic because what do you do when your baby is having trouble and you can't take her to the ER? The on call ped. Saw her and agreed that although whatever was going on was a little atypical for any particular illness something was very wrong with the way she was breathing and acting. She was admitted to the hospital, and after a lot of needle pokes we (sort of) got an answer..viral meningitis. A mother's intuition is rarely wrong. I feel very helpless but think she is on the mend. Keep you posted.

Some days it's okay to have marshmallows for dinner.

That is all.

Motherhood.

I have literally two minutes to write this post.

I found myself two days ago at 4 (ish) a.m. standing in my kitchen wondering if expired milk might be considered the same as coffee creamer.  In my desperation I tried it and it wasn't so bad.  Again, I wondered what the hell happened to me when I became a mother. 

The next day I went to the pediatrician where he looked at Halle's 4 month weight and started a small lecture about how we don't really consider children obese until 2 or 3.  I assured him that Holden did the same thing at 4-6 months of age and then pretty much dropped off the growth chart after that. 

My (really good by the way) pediatrician who actually has no kids of his own then started talking to me about baby food consistency and honey and botulism. He really is a great doctor, and I appreciate that he keeps it simple.  I had no questions for him, which may be a day for the calendar since I tend to grill doctors when I see them.  I am paying them about $100 anyway.  May as well get my money's worth.

I have already hit my two minute mark...sorry if this is disjointed.  It is very early in the morning and I decided against drinking more coffee with (now two days older) expired milk.

Password

     I finally had time to meet with an old friend when I headed East about 120 miles this weekend for a graduation party.  She inquired whether I have abandoned my blog or not.  I have no particularly good excuse for not writing except that my husband inexplicably changed his email password (and I use his email address to access this blog for some reason...a reason that also now escapes me).  So I had to get his password from him.  He told me and then I forgot for a few weeks and now he is in the room with me and I am on my laptop so there you go.

    I finally have a child that sleeps (both gets to sleep and sleeps through the night mostly) thanks to my wonderful pediatrician here who, when I said at Holden's four year check up that no...he has never slept well in his entire four years, said, "I can give you something for that." 

God bless that man. 

Aside from feeling a little bit like I am drugging my child to sleep even though it is technically only melatonin which is a hormone/natural product,  I LOVE HIM  (The pediatrician.  The sweet, sleeping boy.  And as long as I am at it I may as well throw in my husband.).

Lest you feel I have been avoiding you, in the interest of (kind of) full disclosure I have to tell you that there have been some family things going on but that don't really involve me directly that I have been trying to be careful not to comment on...as commentary on such things is almost always a bad idea. 

Also, I now have a job which is so very interesting and yet so secret since it is all protected health information.  I am afraid of typing the wrong thing or becoming too emotional on my blog and therefore putting my license in danger.  But the job is very interesting and I am enjoying it very much if you were wondering.

My beautiful daughter Halle is doing very well and sleeping like a normal child.  If normal children exist, she would be one of them (so far).  I went through my google history today and think that perhaps it is her mother who is not normal because I was googling "4 month old not rolling over" and "pinworm" this week.  I think I worry too much, although Holden smelled suspiciously of kitty litter this afternoon after we let him play outside with his friend from across the street, and the other day I walked out on the porch and around the house and had a moment of panic when he was nowhere to be found. 

He was in the neighbors' fenced backyard.  Safe...if a little overly friendly and trusting.  Still working on that.  How to teach a child not to be trusting or friendly?  Trying not to agonize too much over parenting.  It is unlikely there is someone lurking to steal my child.  Good luck to that person especially if they don't know about melatonin.

I promise I will do better with my posting this summer.