Thursday, April 14, 2011

A clean, well lighted place

"You do not understand. This is a clean and pleasant cafe. It is well lighted. The light is very good and also, now there are shadows of the leaves."
-Hemingway

I was watching part of jeopardy today (because I was sick and lying in my recliner) and I forget the final jeopardy question, but the answer was Hemingway. My favorite writing of Hemingway's was A clean, well lighted place and thus the quote.

I knew I would graduate eventually, but everytime I think about it I remember that neither of my parents will be there to see it. I don't even want a graduation party because I have so little family that will be able to come.

I am extra sensitive because Ally's birthday is next week and then three days after my graduation is the day my mom died. I can go the entire year feeling really good about things, and very little residual grief about these things, but the end of April is always always a rough time for me.
I don't need cheering up, I know that things are going really well for me right now. Good family, good job(s), graduation, etc. I guess maybe now that short period of grief is just a part of me, and that is okay.
I guess sometimes you just have to say, "No, I am not okay. But I will be."

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