Sunday, December 11, 2011
Pregnancy is going fine and 32 weeks already! We also have the c-section scheduled and a name picked...but I'm not telling you either. Something has to be a surprise :)
Looking forward to Christmas and spending a few days with family and friends. I am also turning 30 next week. How to celebrate in the middle of the week before Christmas?
Monday, November 14, 2011
Saturday, November 12, 2011
He wakes up from his daycare nap at about 2:45 p.m.
My only pregnancy craving so far is coconut.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
We don't know if the dates are off or if perhaps something else is going on--but baby is very active so we'll just have to wait and see. I will continue to see the perinatologist for ultrasounds every 4 weeks for now.
Things are settling down here and we are excited for Halloween (and so is Holden!).
Can't wait to get back to see family and friends in November and December!
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Tired. Pregnant. Happy.
Yesterday I bought my son a pink and purple unicorn (because the kid wanted a unicorn and--shockingly--they don't make unicorns geared toward boys)
Monday, September 19, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Saturday, September 10, 2011
"No, it's Iowa."
"Could have sworn it was heaven."
-Field of Dreams
Last night I had a dream that I was at a party outside of a farm Kwanset in the fall. I didn't know most of the guests but they were all sitting around in folding camping chairs and talking. I couldn't understand what they were talking about but both my Dad and Paul Newman were there.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
I cancelled my home internet and spend three hours a day commuting so that explains most of it.
I was reading an article the other day from some random women's magazine about doing things you enjoy. I found it refreshing because for some reason I always feel vaguely guilty when people talk about their hobbies that I have no interest in and would bore me to tears.
I always feel that perhaps there is some flaw that prevents me from truly enjoying scrapbooking, camping, or hiking...that if I tried these things I would like them, or that maybe I should.
But then I realized I don't have to care about snorkeling or painting or drinking.
Today I decided to just do what I like. Spend a few hours at an auction and then lie in bed with a summer beach read ALL afternoon.
I feel more like me today than I have in a long time.
And I guess it's probably time to tell you that I think I can finally feel little baby Jacobsen kicking. He or she is expected to arrive at the end of January.
(The littlest BIG reason I have been too tired to write in my blog) ;)
Saturday, July 16, 2011
I would be remiss if I forgot to mention the passing of my dear old dog Titus. He was a very good dog and we will miss his little bark around here.
In better news, we found another house to buy and *knock wood* will be closing on it August 18.
I have to be honest with you, it is in a *gasp* subdivision. I cannot say I am entirely comfortable with this development but it was a 6 year old house, close to work, and there are other kids around the neighborhood.
Who knows, maybe Holden will marry the girl next door.
It could happen.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Sorry for the hiatus on the blogging, you will understand why very soon.
(And sorry for the cryptic blog posting).
A question for the universe: Why is it always me who sits in a meeting next to the person who chews gum with their mouth open?
Monday, July 4, 2011
These last few weeks have been full of transition and a lot of driving. 2 1/2 hours per day, thankfully with my son so that I can spend that commute time with him.
We are still working on purchasing a house much closer to work as well as getting our house on the market.
After starting a new job I worry that in the last few years I have completely lost my sense of humor! I am so...serious all the time and not really sure how to recapture (some of) the youthful silliness I once had.
I am struggling a little bit with the transition. I am very happy to have the job I want but do still have moments when I wish I was home with Holden more. He is doing fine in his new "school" and loves it there so the transition has probably been more difficult for me than for him.
I don't like starting over again. New jobs, new town, new house, new church, new friends.
At almost 30 I wish I felt a little bit more settled.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
The first is how mountains in our lives can, over time, turn into small hills. You look back and say--I know that really sucked at the time, but I did it.
"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
I don't have much to say,it is one of those weeks where things are suddenly...quiet.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
I start my new job as a perioperative nurse on Monday and am really looking forward to it, although I learned very little about the OR in nursing school so it should be quite interesting (and by interesting I mean stressful) for the first few months.
It's kind of a rough week this week because Father's day is coming up. We're going to head to the Ameristar buffet with Tony's family for Father's day so I can drown my sorrows in mini eclairs and cream puffs. Should be fun.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Friday, June 3, 2011
"Look Holden! The Goose is crossing the road with her babies!"
In typical toddler fashion, he said,
I smiled (and I really said this),
"To get to the other side!"
BWAHAHAHA! Never thought I'd get to use that one in real life.
Monday, May 23, 2011
I know this may sound totally spoiled but I miss the way that as an attorney he could fix problems with just a simple, well worded letter. The encyclopedic way he knew to call the public service commission or the attorney general's office with certain problems.
I miss my free lawyer, confidante, mentor.
As I am crying my sweet son crawls in my lap and says,
"Why are you crying mommy? Don't cry, don't cry."
I guess it's my reminder that as long as I am able from now on I am to be a free nurse, confidante, and mentor to the sweet child in my arms.
Even when he gets too big to snuggle into the crook of my arm and sweetly say,
"Don't cry mommy. You got cry on me!" He wipes his leg and his spongebob pajama pants and starts jumping on the bed again.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
On the journey I have realized that no matter what it is I am doing, I can always change it. I don't have to be stuck in one place simply because my pride tells me I should be or I feel like I should be happy there. Should is a word I have started to ignore and instead put in words like desire, motivation, determination, vocation. It's a whole lot easier to get up in the morning and get moving when you have a vision for what God has called you to do.
I think God often lets us decide how we want to get there because we learn so much more along the way than we would if we did it all the quick and easy way from the gate. Sometimes it is a 2 year plan and sometimes it is a 40 year plan.
I have so much respect for people who continually seek to be inspired & challenged beyond what has already been accomplished.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Monday, May 9, 2011
The house contract fell through. I am not upset by this. The hubby and I have since had quite a few discussions about whether we can truly afford something if we have to take out a loan on it.
The consensus was no.
*Please make note here that this is not a judgement on other's choices. I don't really care what you do. I am only commenting on my personal situation and have neither the time nor the inclination to comment on anyone's life but my own. And since this is my blog...comments solely pertain to my life.*
It wasn't a particularly happy 'no' consensus by either of us, but undeniable that the uneasy feeling I got when I signed the purchase agreement for that house was probably not a good sign. I became even more uneasy upon the *contingent upon loan approval* part, and then even more so when I saw the good faith estimate. Which is not the reason the agreement fell through and only somewhat related to the point of this post.
I am sort of coming to terms with the fact that I may not be able to live with myself living in a house that I can't pay for in cash. But oh, how I want a spacious kitchen with miles of solid surface countertops and a large marble-top island for baking. I would very much like those things.
I suppose we all make our concessions for certain aspects of our lifestyles. I have so many vices, I'm not sure it is in my best interest to add a white picket fence to the list. Maybe a cheap efficiency apartment?
Monday, May 2, 2011
Call it intuition or whatever you want but I'm feeling that way about my in-progress house purchase. Whenever I have had this gut feeling in the past it usually meant I was going the wrong direction (with the purchase, not the move to a new city--just to be clear). My realtor called me this evening to tell me our new demands based upon the home inspection might blow the deal. She tried to convince me to change my mind.
In no uncertain terms I basically said with all due respect to your hard work, when I'm spending that much money I'll make all the demands I feel necessary and to hell with the deal (if that is the case).
The secret to negotiating is to never want it too much. There are other houses, and if we don't get this one we will get a different one.
I need to reduce the stress in my life.
I graduate this week!!
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
If you thought I was going to write about Easter you'd be right.
However, it's more to tell you about my trip to the E.R. (felt like an idiot--but had to go...).
I woke up at 7 ish with a migraine. I said woe is me I don't get to watch Holden find eggs etc., etc., then asked Tony to put some blankets over my windows so it wasn't quite so painful.
3 hours later my son and husband were in Lincoln at Easter and I woke up again in so much pain I was crying and very nearly throwing up. I had already taken aspirin so I knew the only thing I could really do was get to the hospital and get an antiemetic and a pain pill. But I really, really didn't want to go. Especially for a migraine.
Anyway, I am fine. A liter of fluid, zofran, phenergan, and norco and although I'm not a totally new person I am able to open my eyes and walk around. Which is more than I can say for Sunday.
We bought a house. I'm graduating next week. Tony is graduating in two weeks. Holden turned 3 last week. I've been missing Ally and my dad for two years now. Our adoption meeting is May 9th.
I. am. tired.
That is all I have for now because my child is still awake and I have to go get him to sleep.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
I was watching part of jeopardy today (because I was sick and lying in my recliner) and I forget the final jeopardy question, but the answer was Hemingway. My favorite writing of Hemingway's was A clean, well lighted place and thus the quote.
I knew I would graduate eventually, but everytime I think about it I remember that neither of my parents will be there to see it. I don't even want a graduation party because I have so little family that will be able to come.
I am extra sensitive because Ally's birthday is next week and then three days after my graduation is the day my mom died. I can go the entire year feeling really good about things, and very little residual grief about these things, but the end of April is always always a rough time for me.
Monday, April 11, 2011
I painted all weekend while my dear husband and mother-in-law put in new countertops in our kitchen and bathroom. They look so great I almost don't want to move. Almost.
Above is a picture of my child in the 60 degree weather with a piece of drywall using it as chalk. Because it kind of is, and I couldn't convince him not to.
I found the cutest spring shoes last week for $13.00 and here is what they look like:
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Less than one month to go and I can barely keep my eyes open. It's like that last 200 meters of a 3200 race. Unless you've run a 3200 meter race, you don't know what I'm talking about. But just trust me, it sucks.
I promise that someday I will be available again for all my friends and family who I have virtually abandoned. I will just tell you that I feel guilty but am too tired to do anything about it except write a few hundred short words on here and go to bed.
I haven't even sent out graduation invitations. But you're all invited, if you want to come.
Will write a more cohesive, informative post later.
Monday, April 4, 2011
As it turns out there is nothing wrong with my dear son per say. Apparently they seem to think his lack of sleeping for three years straight is directly related to my inability to parent. Of course they beat around the bush more thoroughly by telling me that he is well above his age in speech, motor development and is a very sociable child.
Yes. I knew that, thanks.
They went on to tell me there is nothing they can do to help me with his hyperactivity and that perhaps I should seek a pediatric counselor. Or perhaps,
"Go with him to counseling and they can teach you how to deal with him."
"Have you tried a regular schedule? Music at night? Covering the windows? His babysitter says he doesn't have a problem with bright lights at her house...He seems to only have these problems with you."
Yes. Because I am his mother and I am around him all the time. I am not making these things up and spending hours having you people come into my house for fun. It is out of desperation.
So as I am crying during the meeting the school counselor says,
"You seem overwhelmed."
You think? Seems like we're back at square one.
Maybe if I play lullabye music at night...
Sunday, March 27, 2011
I played in my alumni volleyball tournament last weekend. It was fun. Made even more fun because of the great ladies I was playing with. They were forgiving of my passing transgressions, and the fact that I can't remember how to hit right side or serve overhand or rotate properly (sometimes).
But earlier this week I was using my laundry basket as a walker because my knees hurt so badly. I'm afraid I'm going to be one of those 45 year old patients in the hospital getting a knee replacements.
And also, I got the 'formal' job offer to work in surgery! I am extremely excited because my desire to work in surgery is really the reason I went to nursing school in the first place.
My only reservation is if I ever have to have knee replacement surgery and I have it there, all my coworkers will see me naked!
It will be like that dream where you go to work and realize you are naked. Because you are!
I could never figure out how people have babies in the hospital they work in either.
I guess I will cross those bridges when I come to them.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Whenever I (or we) talk to people about becoming debt free and not using credit cards this is what I hear...
"But I get cash back on my credit card purchases," and then they attempt to convince me that they are getting a good deal. So here it is for any of you that might possibly be able to be influenced about the use of rewards cards for purchases:
"The Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago looked at the spending habits of people
before and after they were enrolled in a cash-back rewards program. The study
found that spending and debt increased by $79 and $191 a month, respectively,
with an average cash-back reward of $25. And 11% of cardholders who didn't use
their cards during the three months prior to enrolling in the cash-back program
spent at least $50 in the first month of the program.".
In the interest of full disclosure I have to tell you that when we relocate I
am looking at houses we cannot afford in cash and will probably take out a
mortgage. Although 30 years sounds like an awful long time for 2,200
square feet of living space. I wonder if it's worth it?
And also, the other day my dear son took my husband's debit card out of his
wallet and was pretending to pay for something. With plastic. I'm
going to have to go back to cash-only. My lack of commitment is
manifesting itself in my child's attitude toward money.
And he isn't even three yet!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
He has OT/PT scheduled to come to the house on Monday so we shall see. Here are the contents of an email I sent to my husband the other day.
Sound like anyone you know?
Sensory seeking tactile symptoms may include:
• Frequently craves touch, tickles, back massages, and hugs
• May engage in self injury, such as biting, pinching, or head banging
• Need to touch and feel everything in the environment that other children understand not to touch
• Twirl hair in fingers
• Seeks activities that involve messy play
• Likes to touch soft or smooth surfaces
• Likes the feeling of objects that have vibration
• May cram food in mouth when eating
• High tolerance for heat and cold temperatures
• Prefer spicy food
• Frequently remove socks and shoes
I have no idea how it took me this long to call the doctor. I don't feel guilty, just glad that we might all feel better soon! If you want more info look up sensory integration disorder.
Although the occupational therapist hasn't seen him yet, Dr. Google has.
Hope you're having a good Sunday.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
My dear son officially started early intervention services with the state today. I have had several concerns about his sensory processing and hyperactivity and brought them up with his doctor who suggested the "full workup" with early childhood development, SLP (speech language pathologist), OT (occupational therapy), and PT (if needed--which he really doesn't).
When I went through the list he had a quite few in each category (sensory processing disorder and ADHD) so we'll see if I'm totally a helicopter mom and paranoid or if we will actually be helped by some sort of individual family education plan or IEP for him. Perhaps we will all get some rest in our house.
He is so sweet and I just want him to be able to get some rest. We talked about maybe having a sleep study done on him as well (wouldn't it be great if it was something that could be corrected physiologically? I find that sort of thing much easier to deal with).
On to me.
Have had several job offers. Wondering if the old adage about marriage holds true for career.
"It's just as easy to fall in love with a well paying job as a poorly paying one."
Hmmm...I'm not sure it works. Perhaps I should ask the teachers and social workers out there if this is true? Ha. All meant in jest, mostly because I know a lot of great teachers who love going to work every day. I'm not sure any of them would love a corporate job that much.
But I digress.
Only other news is that my transmission has to be rebuilt to the tune of $1800.
So to recap, decisions to make today:
Relocate, do not relocate?
Sell house, do not sell house?
Buy new car, do not buy new car?
Admit that I'm having difficulty parenting my child, or do not admit it?
Paint bathroom, or play outside? (this one is easy)
Like I said: Whew!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Walked into the living room/kitchen and found a carton of broken eggs on the floor, my son with a bowl and a fork whipping one egg to "make eggs" for himself. It was cute, but messy.
Walked into the living room after aforementioned child was in bed and found my dog standing in the middle of the coffee table.
Both unrelated, but both out of the ordinary.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Should have checked the website, but the roads were clear!
Then I called my dear husband. I set out my proposed plan for the day.
Work out. Do homework. Do absolutely nothing.
Then he gently suggested that perhaps I do "some" laundry since I have the day off.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Makes me want to buy one. More on that topic later.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
However, I have to tell you that I really probably should be doing laundry because this morning all I had left in my drawers were thong underwear. Which I haven't worn since before I had my dear son. I'm sure all you family members who read this really wanted to know that.
Secondly, I have to tell you about this product I found that you should try if you are so inclined. I haven't been telling you about it because they only sell it two places and I wanted to keep it all to myself.
Honey Maid S'mores cookies.
You can purchase them at Super Target or HyVee.
And thirdly, I have been buying bags of circus peanuts, which may only be explainable by my family history. (And sugar addiction).
I will not do laundry today. I will not clean the house today. I will go to an auction and spend the entire day there just for the thrill of finding a good deal.
And I'll probably be wearing a thong tomorrow, too.
Friday, March 4, 2011
"I've been thinking about your life, and I just want to ask you--do you see an end to all the stress you are currently experiencing? I mean, is there a time in the future when you can say: Yes, all this stress will be over.?"
I teared up and said,
"I wish I could say that. Maybe in two years?"
Well I'm here to tell you, the two years is almost up. And I was right. The stress did not end for the whole two years--BUT.
Only 9 short weeks left and I will be walking at graduation. Neither of my parents will be there, but my adorable son and doting husband will be sitting there cheering me on. And the following week I will be sitting in the crowd as my husband is handed his Bachelor's degree after a grueling 5 years of work for him (and me).
I had an interview this week for a position. The wonderfully kind interviewer started the conversation first with weather and then asked me if I knew the hospital at all. I vaguely said yes, I had been here with family and she said,
"I hope everything turned out well."
"It didn't, but it was a few years ago."
Not a promising start. Why don't you start off your interview telling a random stranger that after a long battle with cancer at insert hospital name here he died in 2009.
Luckily, out of the blue she started talking about how her dad had died in December of 2009.
"It was a rough year." She said as we walked onto the elevator.
"Yes, my dad died on December 7, 2009."
She looked at me,
"He must have been pretty young. How old was he?"
She knitted her brows together,
"That's how old I am."
The elevator door opened, we walked to her office and I spend an hour and a half interviewing for the position.
They offered me the job today.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Which I certainly don't regret, but I had no idea it would be quite like this.
But I don't graduate until May and won't take boards until June so I have time. And I also don't really absolutely need a job to put food on the table so that makes it a little better.
Top pic, frog and gnome in the winter. I keep them close to the house because it is cold.
Below, animal in the ditch by our house...
Spring? You must be close. The birds were even singing this morning.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
The first thing my favorite instructor said to us on day one of her class:
"I want you to write down the three most important things to you."
"Now I want you to cross off one of those things. The less important one."
"That is going to be your life for the next two years."
In other words: You better get good at time management.
She was not exaggerating. Besides the fact that the woman knows her stuff, (I mean nursing, medical, etc.) I respect her because she was honest about what to expect.
And for once, my dear friends and family--
The light at the end of that tunnel is not an oncoming train.
Also, our first meeting for starting our adoption process is in May or July. We are excited to see what God has in store for us in the coming year!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
But I think I am a little too lazy today to actually write anything on here...
I'll be back again soon, I promise!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
"I really like Spongebob." I laughed and said,
"Me too!" Who'd have thought the only TV show our entire family has ever agreed upon simultaneously would be about a yellow sponge?
Even my father-in-law watches the show.
I just don't have time to go into any real detail about my life because I am browning some hamburger. Please be patient with me and keep checking and I will post again soon!
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
What does a two year old have to say for an hour and a half? He talked about catching bugs in a net, and trains, and car washes, washing machines, his new 'catepillar dumper truck' and the snow. He talked about his aunts and uncles and cousins and daddy (who incidentally was at work still at 8:00 p.m.). It's hard to think of anything we didn't talk about. The uses of cars, refrigerators, and the oven. Which happens to be the reason I am writing this blog post.
He started talking about the oven and how he was going to use the oven and I reminded him that only Mommy and Daddy use the oven. I asked,
"What does the oven do?"
he said brightly,
"It makes food. It makes ice cream and I eat a little bit."
I thought he was confused and I said,
"No, you're thinking of the refrigerator. The oven is hot, it doesn't have ice cream in it."
And then I remembered.
Tony made Baked Alaska last week.
I keep trying to correct the kid but he always seems to be right.
Wonder who he gets that from?
Friday, January 7, 2011
We kept correcting him.
"No, it's Harold. HHHHarold." We tried to correct him.
He would look at us and say brightly,
He is pretty great at language for his age so I was stumped as to why he wouldn't say it right.
And then I realized that on the movie(s) of Thomas the train, the voice over is in a British accent.
So Holden is thinking we are crazy for calling the helicopter Harold when his actual name is pronounced