I started crying in the results meeting for Holden's assessment with OT, PT, speech therapy, and the school counselor...along with two other people who were somewhat official but I don't know their exact roles. Or names.

As it turns out there is nothing wrong with my dear son per say. Apparently they seem to think his lack of sleeping for three years straight is directly related to my inability to parent. Of course they beat around the bush more thoroughly by telling me that he is well above his age in speech, motor development and is a very sociable child.

Yes. I knew that, thanks.

They went on to tell me there is nothing they can do to help me with his hyperactivity and that perhaps I should seek a pediatric counselor. Or perhaps,
"Go with him to counseling and they can teach you how to deal with him."

"Have you tried a regular schedule? Music at night? Covering the windows? His babysitter says he doesn't have a problem with bright lights at her house...He seems to only have these problems with you."

Yes. Because I am his mother and I am around him all the time. I am not making these things up and spending hours having you people come into my house for fun. It is out of desperation.

So as I am crying during the meeting the school counselor says,

"You seem overwhelmed."

You think? Seems like we're back at square one.

Maybe if I play lullabye music at night...