"Fish! Fish! Fish!"

The eerie silence on my blog has been due to my dad being in critical condition at the hospital. Saturday I really thought he was going to die. But he didn't. It's a long story and I don't really want to get into it on the internet, but he has a staph infection in his brain and blood. He is doing much better than he was, and I no longer believe that death is knocking (it is more lurking than actively knocking).

So my brother is in town because when I talked to him on Saturday night pretty much all I said was,

"I think you better come now or as soon as possible."

They (brother and future SIL) hopped on a plane and landed in Omaha yesterday--and of course after they spend hundreds on tickets and flew 2000 miles dad looks much better. Maybe even like he could make it out of the hospital.

I obviously didn't have my crystal ball with me on Saturday night--all I had was a neurosurgeon telling me dad was gravely ill so I thought maybe it would be a good idea to get the family there. At this point I think the word gravely might be pushing it, since today he was able to say his own name, my name, my brother's name and Holden's name. None of which he has said in months. Months. We have seen vast improvement but I do keep reminding myself that a blood/brain infection is never a good thing.

The picture above is my sweet little (slightly) spoiled son looking at his fake fish tank (it moves and sort of looks like a real fish tank). My brother and (future) sister-in-law were sitting at the window of the hospital gift shop and I mentioned how much Holden loves the fish, so they insisted on getting it for him. And since I got home and set it up he won't stop looking at it. I originally had it set up in his room and he kept grabbing my hand and asking for the fish so I had to set it on the kitchen table next to the computer so he is able to look at it to his heart's content.

I was at the hospital earlier this afternoon to see my dad and I've spent the remainder of the afternoon trying to forget the body bag I saw being wheeled onto the staff elevator as I walked out of the critical care unit. All I could think was oh, so that must have been why that big family was here all day yesterday and today there was an empty waiting room.

I know my blog is depressing now, just bear with me here for a little while and I promise it will get better. It really can't get a whole lot worse (knock wood).