I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth
Psalm 121:1-2

I was standing at Allison's gravesite today holding Tony's hand. It was a beautiful spring morning, about 50 and sunny. We found a spot at a big cemetary, it is tucked back in a very quiet space, very peaceful. As I was standing there and listening to this scripture being read I was very grateful. And awestruck.

I stood pondering how 'the Maker of heaven and earth' cares for me so deeply. That even as he does these fantastic things (like creating heaven and earth) he is still very real and very much a part of my life. Sometimes when people die you can feel a whole lot of emptiness. I remember that feeling from when my mom died. It is the feeling that God has turned away, that he is there but not there in a sense. Whether true or not, that is often the feeling many people have when death happens to a loved one.

Thankfully, I haven't felt that at all this time. I have felt enveloped, protected, like someone is hugging me and truly have found that He is the God of all comfort.
I'm not saying that it's not going to be hard. It's going to be very hard still, but I don't feel like this is a dark night of the soul. I feel like it is a chance to learn something about myself, my family, and my marriage.

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
1 Peter 1:6-9

I received a phone call tonight about 10:50 p.m. My dad came out of surgery okay, but is still in the ICU. He will probably be there for a little while until they are sure he is stable (no brain swelling, etc.). I am calling again tomorrow morning to get an update but things are looking pretty good. Hopefully this is the beginning of a long and strong recovery. They had to send the tissue to pathology to see how malignant it may be, in which case I would think they would "top off" the surgery with radiation or chemo (usually they use radiation for brain tumors). But first things first. Dad has to recover from the surgery before any of that.

As for me, I need to get some rest. Please keep praying for us all.