The broken road

"I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately, I wanted to live
deep and suck out all the marrow of life, To put to rout all that was not life
and not when I had come to die Discover that I had not lived.” Henry David Thoreau

I came home yesterday, my body aching all over-especially my knees and ankles. I've been trying to lose weight thinking this will make these aches better. I'm not that old-do other people ache like this and just not say anything or is this abnormal for age 28? I have to take ibuprofen just to get through most days-which I don't think is normal for someone my age.

As I was taking off my shoes I felt a pang of sadness, missing my dad. I don't know why really. Nothing seemed to trigger it, I just felt like talking to him on the phone.

Have you ever had one of those times when you just felt like calling someone on the phone but the only person you wanted to talk to was unavailable? It's kind of like that, only for the rest of my life.

I've been longing for the summer today. I keep thinking about going out to the lake, or walking around the children's zoo, with the sting of the sun on my shoulders. Thinking about the oppressive 3 p.m. heat at a dusty baseball game. It's getting me through for now. This winter seems so long.

Despite all that has gone on in the past few years, I find myself feeling that I am right where I am supposed to be...which is remarkable because I've rarely felt that feeling in my adult life. Has it been difficult, yes. It will continue to be so.

But I finally have a burning passion/ambition for life that was lacking for many years. I felt for quite a long time that even though I was happy, something was still off...something was lacking. I think this road I'm on now is the right one.

I know it is.

The joy, and grief, and frustration, and success of the past few years has become a life better than I could have ever imagined.

"Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted."

Matthew 5:4