I was doing some shopping with friends last weekend. We went into Lane Bryant (which I don't ever go in because they don't have my size) and I thought to myself: Jackpot! They will have bras here that fit me!!

You should also know I have sworn off walking into Victoria's Secret:

1) because the salespeople in there are second only to associates of The Buckle in their annoying clamoring to sell you something. I mean seriously lady? You don't have to feel me up to make a sale.

and

2) Because they don't have my size-except in underwear-and if I'm spending that much on underwear I want them to match the bra! Am I right?

So you can imagine my excitement when I walked into Lane Bryant and realized they have a bra section in the back. Which you can't see from the front of the store and thus the reason I didn't know it was there (after all these years).

I start looking through the racks, and guess what?

They don't have my size. But wait, you say, how can neither of these places have your size?

Victoria: cup size too small!
Lane Bryant: band size too big!

So it relegates me to my continued internet ordering of bras, getting them in the mail, trying them on, gnashing my teeth because I don't like the way they fit, and shipping them back.