Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Anticipation and Perspiration

My air conditioner broke today. I knew it was coming, I could feel it slowing down, choking along, the air getting warmer as it hummed through the vents. It has happened 2 other times in this house, something about there not being enough hot air return and making it freeze up.

So imagine me in an 85 degree house with 60% humidity and a fussy one year old all afternoon. It was delightful, let me tell you. Finally, in my desperation I went rummaging through the garage to find an old air conditioner my aunt gave me 4 years ago when she moved and had no use for it anymore. I lugged the damn thing inside and plugged it in to see if it worked because I'm pretty sure my dear husband has left it out in the rain more than once. And it worked!

So I put my screaming boy in the pack-n-play and went into the bathroom, which I believe is the only window in the house it would fit in since it is a small air conditioner. After measuring both the window and the unit I set out to try to remove the screen from the window. I try for about 5 minutes, the sweat beginning to trickle. F****** s***!!!! I can't get the stupid screen to come off.

Apologizing to my sniffling son in the other room even though he didn't hear me cussing out the window, I venture outside to inspect the window frame to see if I can get the thing off from the outside. But then I realize that I never learned how to set up our somewhat unusual ladder so I can go no further. And this happens to be one of the nights my dear husband has a baseball game.

Desperate for relief, at 5 p.m. I call him. No answer. I call him again, he answers, I manage a greeting and then,
"The air conditioner is broken and I need you to come home and help me put the window air in. I can't do it myself." I gear up for an argument since he has to be at his ball game by 6:30 and it's an hour away from our house (which means he has to take a half hour to drive home and then drive back that direction another hour).

"Ok. I'm leaving now." He replies. Whaaaaaaaaaa? No argument, no discussion, just a request (demand) and an affirmative answer. This is nearly unprecedented but I believe he can sense me at my breaking point. I don't do well in the middle of July, generally speaking. Particularly in the middle of THIS July.

So now I'm considering sitting in the (cool) bathroom to finish my blog and maybe read my Good Housekeeping magazine that came in the mail today. Just saying that I read Good Housekeeping makes me feel like an old lady. I suppose I have to balance out smutty Cosmopolitan with something, so it may as well be Good Housekeeping.

Also, I'm totally not getting anything much done today because I spent 80 minutes catching up on The Bachelorette and for some reason this episode made me reminisce about when my wonderful (and handy) hubby and I first got together and how the air seemed to crackle between us there was so much chemistry. I hope other people have that, too.

We still have it, but it is of course reserved for times when we are alone and not in crowded bars like when we were 21. Because who really wants to see married couples making out like crazy teenagers? That and we always have to have the conversation,
"Is our son really asleep? Are you sure?"

That being said I am extremely excited for this weekend because I have been waiting since our failed Valentines Day weekend to be alone for more than one day with him (or one evening). And he has planned a surprise for me--I don't even know where we are going or what we are doing (Grandma is watching Holden). All he said was to "pack some outdoor clothes". I know it's not camping because we both hate camping and love expensive hotels...so what could it be?
We leave on Thursday!

1 comment:

Amanda S. said...

So sorry your air quit working. I can just picture you and Holden sitting huddled in front of the air conditioner in a tiny bathroom avoiding the heat. ok maybe it wasn't like that but i sure got a chuckle out of it. If you need some cool air, please come hang out at my house, its pretty cool here and you are welcome any time. Hope you have a great weekend!