Monday, March 23, 2009

As I sit here on my comfy couch (with no back cushions because of the dogs) listening to the wind howl at my windows I realize how lucky I am. My husband is in the other room holding my baby until he falls asleep. After he had a long day of work, he cooked me dinner, played with Holden, gave him a bath and is now putting him to sleep. Granted, I didn't exactly have an uneventful day but I do realize how lucky I am to have a husband like that. I know many aren't.

Even so, I still get cranky (we both do). Even though I know how good a job he does and tell him so we still both have our moments almost every day where we get cranky with each other. He bitches that I don't like to sweep up the pile of dirt after I sweep the floor (hard to bend over like that when preggo). And I bitch that there are always dishes in our sink no matter how many times I run the dishwasher during the day. Of course these are trifles, but I guess we don't have anything big to fight about at the moment. Although I do think that after awhile even the small stuff tends to get to you if you don't have a break.

I guess what I'm wondering is, aside from getting a housekeeper is how are chores divided at your house? I think in some ways it is all about how you grew up. My dad did most things at my house...well all things since he was a single parent, and Tony's mom did everything since she was a single parent. So we both grew up watching the opposite role do all the work. Thankfully we tend to fall into easy roles, except for a few minor exceptions: scrubbing the bathtub, taking out the trash, and occasionally the dishes. The only reason the dishes get thrown in there is because when men cook apparently they use EVERY SINGLE dish in the house. How this is possible I do not know. Perhaps all the professional great male cooks just have dishwashers (as in people) to do their dirty work for them so it doesn't matter how many dishes they dirty. In any case I dislike doing dishes after my wonderful husband uses the kitchen. Even with a brand new dishwasher it is still a major chore.

And then with the trash all I think is: It's a man's job to take out the trash. Don't ask me where I got this notion, I really have no idea. Maybe it's because I can't recall having to take out the trash at all until after I reached the age of 18. Maybe I did it, but I sure don't remember having to do so.

So anyway, after almost 4 years of marriage these are the chore sticking points that have remained. We usually trade off on the scrubbing the shower but when I'm pregnant I have a good excuse not to do it--the fumes and bending over like that. :) But that excuse can only last so long and I will be back to it again.

I can't complain too much because my two sweet boys are sleeping peacefully in the other room and I didn't have to do a thing. It's nice to have such a good husband.

2 comments:

Amanda S. said...

So you asked how things are divided in my household. Well things have changed since Gavin was born but still i end up doing most of the household cleaning. I try to do the cooking too but am not very good at it always so i try to get Keith to do a meal here and there. He usually takes out the garbage but i have to hound him to do it so i end up doing it about half the time. Keith does mow the lawn which i am thankful for and he is a huge help at night when Gavin won't go back to sleep after a feeding. Growing up my mom did all the household stuff, cleaning, cooking, ect. She also helps out on the farm so she was a hired hand and she pretty much did all the work with us kids. So thats my two sense. Oh and the whole thing with guys cooking and using every dish in the house. That is so true, but i would much rather do dishes then have to cook anyday.

Anonymous said...

Kara you know I two got to be a stay at home MOM... I two tried to picked up so when Mark come home we weren't at each other and he helped take care of the kids at night playing,bathing,and put them down...
but (we)dishes together at night that was our time to talk...he didn't laundry-I don't mow the lawn-he took out the trash-I put a new bag in can... I also found that he would help on Saturdays so I can really clean and not feel so bad daring the week ..You and Tony just need to found away to get things done your way and always always talk :)
Love Diana