You know what I like? The kind of person who knows what they don't know. One who will tell you: Yes I know how to fix that stove, but no I do not know what the square root of 4096 is. (It's 64 by the way...thought I could save you some math there). Up front I will tell you: I--in fact--do not know how to raise a child, I'm just flying by the seat of my pants. I think anyone who says differently is flat out lying.
I had my cousin's wedding this weekend and my sweet child was being a little bit of a terror (not really in a bad way, just wild and crazy). So my husband who really didn't want to have to sit through the mass anyway considered it a get out of mass free card and took him to the great grandparents' house for an hour while I stayed at the wedding.
So I had to catch a ride over to the reception with my dad and stepmom. I must have been really cross on the phone with Tony (most of all because he didn't follow the well laid out plan to meet after the wedding) because my stepmom said,
"Wow, you have a shorter fuse than I do." Not an entirely accurate statement but I am a little fussy at times so I didn't argue the point. I just said,
"Well, I have a headache and I've had about 600 calories today (it was 8:00 p.m.) and my dear husband didn't listen to me the first 16 times I told him where the reception was located."
So when the dear parental figures (or grandparents) aren't questioning why I snapped at my husband on the cell phone when he asked for directions they are questioning why I don't put shoes on my kid most of the time or why I decided that a one year old shouldn't sit in a Catholic Mass/Wedding for an hour and a half. To me it seems like a no brainer, but apparently not so to other people.
It all worked out well for everyone because on the way to the reception they bought me two hamburgers from McDonald's (they are 250 calories each, by the way) (They just had appetizers at the reception--not a meal)
But that isn't really what I'm getting at here.
I like that everything I do now makes me wonder what I will think about it in 15 years.
Like when I go to the gym and see the 20 year olds with glowing skin and firm bodies and don't envy them (much) because I just didn't have the years of great experiences under my belt yet (pun intended).
In my early 20's my favorite day of the month used to be payday(s). Now I have a little metal clip magnet on the side of my refrigerator where I clip bills that are due for the month in order of when they are due. My favorite day of the month is when the clip is empty. It stays that way for about a week and a half and then I get the next bill in the mail for the next month.
For 3 months one summer when I was 22 I had an apartment to myself. It was always clean. It was just me--no dogs, husbands, cats, or kids. It was pretty great, but lonely. Now I have the husband, child, dogs, and cat and my house is always always messy. But it's not lonely.
I don't know, I guess I made all these plans about what my life would be like and nothing really turned out like I thought it would. But that would have been pretty boring. It makes me think of someone I know whose life has turned out pretty much exactly like she had planned from the tender age of 15 or so...married the high school sweetheart, went to college, then grad school and surprisingly I don't envy a life that well planned. I guess I'm a fly by the seat of your pants kind of person.
Also, sorry about the stream of consciousness typing. It's late and I wanted to get a post up since I haven't posted in awhile.
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