Under the Big Top

I've been juggling so much I should be in the circus.

The thing I find refreshing about older ladies is that they don't feel sorry for you. Most often what I get is an I feel sorry for you look from younger women. And sometimes in women up to about the age of 55. Then women after 55 just sort of shrug and look at you like, I made it through that...I know you can too. They make me feel like I, too, will weather the storm. Of course they have all had different storms than mine--being a single mother, losing a spouse, getting married too young, or being in an abusive relationship for too long.

I never really expect life to be fair (because what is fair, really?), I am not disillusioned by any of what is going on in my life right now. Yesterday my dear husband was asking me what I wanted for dinner and I couldn't answer. I told him I didn't want to think about anything or make any decisions. As I conveyed this message to him, I also said,
"You've known me long enough to know what I like." And he did a perfect job--rotisserie chicken breast and a side of the sweetest sweet corn (fresh) with a little butter.

I suppose the bottom line is that I am a very blessed woman. I have so many things that some others only dream of their entire lives. I guess a few bad things were bound to happen at some point. If I can just figure out how to keep all those balls in the air for a little longer, things will slow down. That's what I keep telling myself but things feel a little bit like they've been spiraling downward all summer. It's exhausting.

All that said I am still looking forward to the crisp air of autumn, to football season, celebrating my brother's wedding, starting school, and enjoying and appreciating my family as much and as long as possible as the shadows get longer and the days shorter.