Tony and I had a nice day alone together because his sister offered to watch Holden for the weekend. I also went to visit my dad on Thursday. I felt pretty good when I left to go see him and not so good on the way home.

I know he just had brain surgery, so I would expect him to be tired and confused. I wasn't quite as prepared as I could have been. He was just very different, and it worried me. I know that he will gain most of it back, but then there's the radiation for him to go through. I'm just emotionally drained and feel like I don't have much to offer him (them) as they go through all this.

People keep asking how I am, and the truthful answer is not very good. I cry at least once a day. I think I'm doing pretty well considering how the last week and a half has gone though. From prior experience I know that things will get better. It may not be very soon, but they will get better.

A month goes by, and then two, and then a year, and then five. And you feel better. I know my sweet child is in a much better place than here, but like I told Tony, I'm still here and she is there so that thought doesn't give me as much comfort as it probably should. But those thoughts help him get by so that makes me glad. I am so lucky to have such a great husband.

He always tells me we used up all our luck on each other.